Sinking is the New Swimming
by RememberingThePast
Summary: The First time she jumped, she didn't really expect much. AU


The first time she jumped, she didn't really expect much. Well, besides the water that is. It was the one thing she was counting on, after all. The problem was when she let out her breath and watched the bubbles gurgle on up towards the surface, she saw a sight that made no sense at all.

The water was dark, all encompassing, and suffocating, and yet as her sight began to blur and the surrounding waters seemed to push threateningly against her rib cage, the first thing she noticed were eyes. Green eyes. Bright and shining, like the sea glass she had found on the beach that day years ago when it was the four of them, not four minus one and a fraction of another. In her stupor, she tried to talk to it, to those eyes, but nothing but tiny bubbles trickled forth from her almost empty lungs.

As it drew closer, those green eyes came accompanied with a smile and a head full of soft brown hair that seemed to dance in the ocean's pull. She watched vaguely, her eyes growing tired, as this man with green eyes smiled at her, wrapping a strong hand around her waist and the other gently behind her head. In any other circumstances she would have been admiring the muscles that rippled along his skin, but she was tired and growing weary as her lungs refused to work. So, she simply rested her head on his broad shoulder and thought:

sinking wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

The second time she jumped, she heard his voice. Soft and somewhat low, he said with a sad smile, "Perhaps you should try swimming." Despite it being just a suggestion, those green eyes, the ones she would never forget, seemed to plead with her as the gentle arm around her waist pulled her upward towards the surface.

"But it's tiring," she tried to say, her head finding its spot on his shoulder, but bubbles gurgled from her lips and water filled her lungs. She could of sworn she heard him humming, something slow and soothing. After a moment though, she figured it was just the buzz as unconsciousness seeped into her mind.

She awoke the next morning lying on the beach as the sun rolled out over the horizon, aching and sand just about everywhere. A concerned jogger who happened to be passing by asked if she was alright and she merely smiled and replied, "I'm good."

He didn't appear to be convinced but he kept on running just the same. She sat up slowly, her muscles protesting and her lungs screaming for mercy. She was tired and cold, and yet as she hugged her legs to her chest, coughing a little as a result, the sunrise she saw that morning had a bit of an emerald tint to it. It was warm, welcoming, and just a tad bit uplifting. It made her think that if she jumped in a third time, she would float.

* * *

The third time she jumped, she had no intention of sinking. The moment she felt the water enclose itself around her she fought her way back to the surface, taking heaving gasps of air as the thrill of the fall and the possibility of sinking began to fade from her mind. In its place was a hollow ache, a need to stay afloat even as the waves, steadily growing, washed against her face.

She was searching for it – for him. It was just that she didn't really know where to start. It all seemed more like a dream then anything else, and truthfully a part of her thought that those moments between sinking and swimming could be nothing else but a dream. A hazy state of living before the lights go out. She kept turning, trying to fill her view with him but that emerald light stayed in corner of her eyes.

But then she saw him. Perhaps it was his eyes that she noticed first but it was the smile that held her focus. She found herself drawn in its direction and it didn't take long for her to close that distance between them.

"You're swimming," he said with a smile.

She felt her cheeks flush despite the cool water, "I wanted to give it a shot," she paused, averting her eyes to the water and to the limbs that were keeping her afloat. "It's the least I could do," she said softly.

They both fell quiet then and it was in that silence in which he helped her back to shore. But no sooner had her feet touched land that he was swept back by the surf, whispering to her a "Good luck," before disappearing underneath the waves.

Standing silent on the shore, the sun suddenly felt too bright in her eyes.

* * *

The fourth time she didn't jump at all, but stood just beyond sea, toes buried in the sand, watching the waves crash onto shore. She told herself that she didn't feel sad, not after all that had happened, just a little bit disheartened is all. She understood the moment he didn't follow her ashore that she'd only know him as the being who kept her from sinking – that he had been there when no else was, not even herself. That was enough, for now, but she knew that even if it was impossible, she'd still like to try to get to know him, if only to be able to thank him properly.

She could see him from where she stood on the shore, green eyes bright and smile wide. The broad shoulders she had come to know rose just out of the water, one arm held high in the air, hand waving enthusiastically. She pressed her hands to her cheeks, hoping the pressure would be enough to rid the tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. It wasn't, but she wasn't sad. Not really. So, after small moment, a pause really, she raised her hand and waved back.

"Keep your head up!" he called.

"I will!" she called back.

* * *

**AN: **cover picture by ぽたり ( twitter com/azmn53) Also the main reason why I wrote this.


End file.
